Pun Laoghaire

NO JOKING MATTER! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THERE IS OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AND IMAGES IN THIS FORUM

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Sun Jun 17, 2012 7:03 pm

Keeper,
This is supposed to be puns but as we are on true stories this really is a true one,
We were renting a flat beside the church in Blackrock. It had a Potez heater (really dangerous). The idea was you turned on the oil and lit immediately. My mother got up at 6a.m turned on the oil but didnt throw n the match for 20 minutes. Whoosh the flames hit the ceiling - she ran out the hall door, in her nightie, and grabbed a man "excuse me have you got a minute" she called. He took one look and said "No, Mam I am not into that sort of thing" and ran down Idrone Terrace. :D :D :D The fire had died down when she got back and this tale became her party piece for many years. :lol:
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6461
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Navanman » Sun Jun 17, 2012 7:32 pm

Brilliant story. I'll bet he told all his friends the story as well.


Navanman
User avatar
Navanman
Somewhere over the rainbow
 
Posts: 1868
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:46 pm

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:37 pm

In France, its considered ok for a man to have a mistress - just to break the monogamy. But condoms are used on every conceivable occasion.
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2514
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:39 pm

You are getting better and better. I am phoning my friends with all the great ones. :D :D :D
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6461
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:41 pm

There was a bit of a row at the Dun Laoghaire Society of Egotists meeting last night. There has been calls for disruptive members to be sanctioned by applying appropriate punishment - an I for an I naturally.
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2514
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:47 pm

The popularity of paper calendars is dwindling as more and more people adopt On-line & mobile phone alternatives. A spokesperson for the Calendar Printers Association summed up their concern "Our calendars' days are numbered".
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2514
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:40 pm

Was down in Bloomfield today and a thought struck me. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen 'em mall.

M.
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2514
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby grammer » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:11 am

Hey Micháel I wa aso down in Bloomfields today -
I went into Tesco with an empty shooping basket
after strolling around for a few minutes -
I left with an empty shopping basket -

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
sent from my PC and typed on a keyboard (old fashioned black colour) using three fingers
User avatar
grammer
The Spoon
 
Posts: 5330
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:30 am
Location: 7th rock from the sun

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:59 pm

"I passed the point of no return yesterday. Nice enough place, but I wouldn't go back"
John Moynes, Comedian
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2514
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Tue Jun 26, 2012 7:54 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: I've been back there so many time. Never learn.
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6461
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Gulliver » Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:26 pm

I think we have just passed the tenth Pun Laoghaire intended to make you laugh. No pun in ten did.
"Not all those who wander are lost" (J.R.R.Tolkien)
User avatar
Gulliver
A Dun Laoghaire Sunset
 
Posts: 1079
Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2010 10:58 am
Location: Liliput

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Tue Jun 26, 2012 11:09 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6461
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Toss » Tue Jun 26, 2012 11:32 pm

Postman with registered mail rings the bell, a lady answers the door in her nightdress ...... funny place to have a door.

She had a strange house, the curtains were drawn but the rest of the furniture was real.

I'm going to get a job as a binman, business is always picking up.

The useless teacher was crosseyed, he couldn't control his pupils.

:P
According to Myers-Briggs, I'm a "ENTJ-a"....
User avatar
Toss
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2081
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 3:48 pm
Location: A figment of your imagination

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Wed Jun 27, 2012 12:27 am

Toss,

Love them :lol: :lol:
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6461
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:10 am

And so the story rolls on . . .

She had been engaged to a fella with a wooden leg but broke it off. For him, it was the prospect of a shotgun wedding that caused the tension - a case of wife or death. She was understandably disappointed the marriage did not go ahead as she had been expecting to get a new name and a dress. . . .
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2514
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Gulliver » Wed Jun 27, 2012 6:19 am

I have a pressing engagement in the morning. My shirt needs ironing.
"Not all those who wander are lost" (J.R.R.Tolkien)
User avatar
Gulliver
A Dun Laoghaire Sunset
 
Posts: 1079
Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2010 10:58 am
Location: Liliput

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby grammer » Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:28 am

:D :D :D :D :D
remember all the old dears on the bus in the mornings
"there yeh are,where are you going Mary???
I've to go to St. Michaels hopital with me leg"
sent from my PC and typed on a keyboard (old fashioned black colour) using three fingers
User avatar
grammer
The Spoon
 
Posts: 5330
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:30 am
Location: 7th rock from the sun

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:17 pm

I don't know which of yis is the best. You are all a tonic. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6461
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby jwdalk » Wed Jun 27, 2012 6:07 pm

I finally got round to reading Great Expectations the other week. It wasn't all I'd hoped for.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria
User avatar
jwdalk
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 422
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 11:15 pm
Location: Curitiba, Brazil

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Wed Jun 27, 2012 9:34 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: I love it.
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6461
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:53 pm

My son got a job bag-packing in the local supermarket. They deployed him at the checkout right opposite one of those juice machines that turns whole oranges into delicious mouth watering refreshing drinks. With the weather so hot, he thought he'd try his luck and get upgraded to working with the oranges and asked his boss whether a move was possible. His request was denied.
"Sorry but baggers can't be juicers"
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2514
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:00 am

:roll: :roll: :roll:











:D
User avatar
Strum
Administrator
 
Posts: 9761
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:03 pm
Location: Sallysupermarket, Thomastown.

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby grammer » Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:30 am

:? :? :? :? :? :? :? :?
sent from my PC and typed on a keyboard (old fashioned black colour) using three fingers
User avatar
grammer
The Spoon
 
Posts: 5330
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:30 am
Location: 7th rock from the sun

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby grammer » Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:33 am

Shopping in tescos today -the other half turns around out of the blue and says loudly
"you are some lazy xxker"
well I was so shocked I nearly fell out of the shopping trolley
:D :D :D :D :D
sent from my PC and typed on a keyboard (old fashioned black colour) using three fingers
User avatar
grammer
The Spoon
 
Posts: 5330
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:30 am
Location: 7th rock from the sun

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Thu Jun 28, 2012 1:13 am

Hahahahaha Grammer! :lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Strum
Administrator
 
Posts: 9761
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:03 pm
Location: Sallysupermarket, Thomastown.

PreviousNext

Return to JOKES ETC.



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest