Pun Laoghaire

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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:03 am

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"Kleptomaniacs dont understand puns - they always take things, literally."

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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby grammer » Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:07 am

Rocker wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: Reminds me ...we always had Mushy Bees for Sunday dinner...we spent Saturday steeping them in bread soda!


Missed this one first time round ---but summers on the way :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
sent from my PC and typed on a keyboard (old fashioned black colour) using three fingers
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Holla » Wed Jun 03, 2015 11:18 pm

Holla wrote:I saw this outside the little church on Foster ave...............Seven days without prayer makes one weak.


Passed by today here's what it says == ""WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING.........FOR HEAVENS SAKE""
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Thu Jun 04, 2015 1:22 am

Holla you must be following us. I was driving along there today and watching the road when HID roared...what on earth are you doing for heaven's sake...I thought he was talking about my driving. We had a laugh when he explained.
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Thu Jun 04, 2015 2:35 am

Rocker wrote:We had a laugh when he explained.


And... :?: I'm guessing, Dancer doing a U turn on the Vico Road after a few shots in Dalkey on the way to Howth? :lol:
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:57 am

Strum wrote:
Rocker wrote:We had a laugh when he explained.


And... :?: I'm guessing, Dancer doing a U turn on the Vico Road after a few shots in Dalkey on the way to Howth? :lol:


Ya divil :twisted: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Dancer » Thu Jun 04, 2015 12:32 pm

Strum wrote:
Rocker wrote:We had a laugh when he explained.


And... :?: I'm guessing, Dancer doing a U turn on the Vico Road after a few shots in Dalkey on the way to Howth? :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Thu Aug 03, 2017 10:37 pm

Hey Gerald!

This is the thread for pun! ;)

Micheál wrote:Image

"Kleptomaniacs dont understand puns - they always take things, literally."

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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Thu Aug 03, 2017 10:40 pm

And I still like this one . . .

Micheál wrote:A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of it's socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks... They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest. After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and "stay for breakfast". They had a wonderful, wonderful time..

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies "but you just happened to catch my eye.'
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Thu Aug 03, 2017 10:41 pm

And Strum's masterpiece . . .

Strum wrote:How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd
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When chemists die, they barium.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period...

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We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's
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I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

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All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Thu Aug 03, 2017 11:19 pm

Wonderful I'd forgotten these gems!! Thanks Micheál wuu wuu
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Sat Aug 05, 2017 2:27 pm

There's a new band called 1023 Megabytes. They haven't any gigs yet.

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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby jwdalk » Sat Aug 05, 2017 4:00 pm

Would glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

My last will and testament hands everything I own on to my IPAD and phone. I want to be left to my own devices.

Yoga instruction this evening. "Reach for the Thigh"

If you hire an exorcist and don’t pay the bill, does your house could get repossessed?

Not many people know the difference between 'apathetic' & 'indifferent'. apathetic, of course means 'showing or feeling no interest, enthusiasm, or concern.' Whereas 'indifferent' means to try another position from the Karma Sutra.

If anybody wants any of my magazines Chiropractor monthly I've got loads of back issues

Geezer in the pub earlier offered me 8 legs of venison for €40. I said it was two deer. I offered him 40 bucks, it was all the doe I had.
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Dancer » Sun Aug 06, 2017 2:15 pm

Shamelessly stolen ..... hellllo

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Without geometry, life is pointless.

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Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

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A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

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If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you a flat minor.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

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Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

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Acupuncture is a jab well done
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Sun Aug 06, 2017 4:49 pm

Dancer,

They are so good :lol: :lol: We had a great laugh and I'll be passing them on!!
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:25 pm

Good ones Dancer. thumbright


Pig 1: Can I have your address? I want to see if your place is like mine.

Pig 2: Have you got a pen?
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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Sun Aug 13, 2017 12:10 am

Image

" And then there was my friend Mahatma Gandhi, who walked barefoot a lot and often fasted, leading to bad breath. Or as we knew him . .

Super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
"

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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Dancer » Sun Aug 13, 2017 9:38 am

Micheál wrote:Image

" And then there was my friend Mahatma Gandhi, who walked barefoot a lot and often fasted, leading to bad breath. Or as we knew him . .

Super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
"

Glenageary Guru


Hahahahahahahaaaaaa ! 10/10
xx Dancer xx

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Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Denis Cromie » Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:15 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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