Pun Laoghaire

NO JOKING MATTER! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THERE IS OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AND IMAGES IN THIS FORUM

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Navanman » Fri Jul 06, 2012 10:45 pm

Very funny
User avatar
Navanman
Somewhere over the rainbow
 
Posts: 1860
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:46 pm

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Sun Jul 22, 2012 9:01 pm

Image
User avatar
Strum
Administrator
 
Posts: 9501
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:03 pm
Location: Sallysupermarket, Thomastown.

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Sun Jul 22, 2012 10:26 pm

ha ha!
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2377
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Sun Jul 22, 2012 10:49 pm

Gardaí arrived at the scene of a serious accident on the 'Noggin hill and have detained a driver who was observed driving in an erratic fashion. When questioned about the accident, the hapless driver explained -

"I was driving along Rochestown Avenue and my boss phoned to tell me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car.
Later, when proceeding through Sallynoggin, he phoned again to say I'd been promoted even higher - and I swerved again.
Then, going down the Hill into Dun Laoghaire, I got another call to say I'd been appointed managing director and that's when I swerved right into the Peoples Park."


He's being charged with careering off the road
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2377
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:13 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6055
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:22 am

Well put together Michael. :D
User avatar
Strum
Administrator
 
Posts: 9501
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:03 pm
Location: Sallysupermarket, Thomastown.

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Wed Jul 25, 2012 5:17 pm

Geez Dancer,

Back to my well thumbed dictionary :( :( I know nuttin.
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6055
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Wed Jul 25, 2012 7:25 pm

Dancer wrote:A Sheldon pun.....

"I don't care for perchloroethylene and I don't like glycol, ether."

:D :mrgreen: :D




Deep! :D
User avatar
Strum
Administrator
 
Posts: 9501
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:03 pm
Location: Sallysupermarket, Thomastown.

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Wed Jul 25, 2012 9:19 pm

Dancer wrote:
It's a play on words :lol: :lol:




Deep! :D
User avatar
Strum
Administrator
 
Posts: 9501
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:03 pm
Location: Sallysupermarket, Thomastown.

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Strum » Fri Jan 18, 2013 9:00 pm

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd
never met herbivore.

When chemists die, they barium.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period...

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's
no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The
police have nothing to go on.
User avatar
Strum
Administrator
 
Posts: 9501
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:03 pm
Location: Sallysupermarket, Thomastown.

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Fri Jan 18, 2013 10:40 pm

Well sPun, Strum
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2377
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Denis Cromie » Sat Jan 19, 2013 12:54 pm

Very good Strum. :D
User avatar
Denis Cromie
Ex-Chief Chocolate Enrober
 
Posts: 2876
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:57 am
Location: Greystones

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:30 pm

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of it's socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks... They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest. After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and "stay for breakfast". They had a wonderful, wonderful time..

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies "but you just happened to catch my eye.'
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2377
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Navanman » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:47 pm

Very good :D :D

Was wondering what was coming


NM
User avatar
Navanman
Somewhere over the rainbow
 
Posts: 1860
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:46 pm

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:27 am

Breaking news from Zurich.

Searching the Swiss history archives, an eminent professor has discovered that local hero and revolutionary William Tell and his family were all avid nine-pin bowlers. Unfortunately, all the bowling league records were destroyed in the great fire of 1345, so now we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2377
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:29 am

Two beggars decide it's inefficient to beg in the streets for a penny at a time. So they go to the King and beg for a huge sum, so that they can retire from beggary forever.
The King has them executed.
They should have know better and listened to their Granny
Don't put all your begs in one ask-it.
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2377
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby grammer » Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:37 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
brilliant -brilliant -Micháel
=============================
just as an aside -Micháel-could you not call yourself Mike or Mickaleen or something like that
it would be a little bit handier replying to you by name
not having to hold down a couple of keys so as to get the fada over your "a" dontknow dontknow
sent from my PC and typed on a keyboard (old fashioned black colour) using three fingers
User avatar
grammer
The Spoon
 
Posts: 5330
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:30 am
Location: 7th rock from the sun

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:24 pm

Micheál wrote:Don't put all your begs in one ask-it.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6055
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby grammer » Fri Jun 14, 2013 11:45 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
10 out of 10 wuu wuu
sent from my PC and typed on a keyboard (old fashioned black colour) using three fingers
User avatar
grammer
The Spoon
 
Posts: 5330
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:30 am
Location: 7th rock from the sun

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Sat Jun 15, 2013 9:33 pm

Two Eskimos are paddling their boats across the Arctic Ocean. When it got very cold one Eskimo kept paddling and the other one stopped and lit a fire in the bottom of the boat to keep warm. The fire burned a hole in the bottom of the boat and the boat sank...which only goes to prove you can't have your kayak and heat it[i].[/i]
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6055
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby grammer » Sun Jun 16, 2013 12:15 am

babbby babbby babbby babbby
boom-boom :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
sent from my PC and typed on a keyboard (old fashioned black colour) using three fingers
User avatar
grammer
The Spoon
 
Posts: 5330
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:30 am
Location: 7th rock from the sun

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Denis Cromie » Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:49 pm

Boom Boom again. :lol:
User avatar
Denis Cromie
Ex-Chief Chocolate Enrober
 
Posts: 2876
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:57 am
Location: Greystones

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Micheál » Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:38 pm

Since we haven't had any contributions for a while . . . .

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both..
What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything...
He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees.
As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp.
By now he knows what to do and shovels them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had . . . .

Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees
User avatar
Micheál
Skies are Blue
 
Posts: 2377
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:13 am
Location: Within the sound of the Hooter

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Denis Cromie » Wed Nov 20, 2013 10:34 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
User avatar
Denis Cromie
Ex-Chief Chocolate Enrober
 
Posts: 2876
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:57 am
Location: Greystones

Re: Pun Laoghaire

Postby Rocker » Wed Nov 20, 2013 11:50 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: Reminds me ...we always had Mushy Bees for Sunday dinner...we spent Saturday steeping them in bread soda!
I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White
User avatar
Rocker
Globetrotter
 
Posts: 6055
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2011 12:29 pm
Location: The Rock

PreviousNext

Return to JOKES ETC.



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron