JOKES ONLY

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JOKES ONLY

Postby Snowhite » Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:16 pm

Three blondes find a magic lamp in the street.They pick it up and rub it, then out pop's a genie. "Since you freed me i'll grant you each one wish."says the genie.
"I want to be smart, i'm tired of being dumb nobody respects you"said the 1st blonde. ...."Granted" says the genie, then turns her into a redhead. She is happy and walks away.
"Well i want to be smarter than her" says the 2nd blonde. ...."Granted" says the genie, and turns her hair brown.She is happy and walks away.
"Well i dont want to be smart.I like been dumb you have all kinds of fun."I want to be dumber" the 3rd blonde says.
"Granted" the genie says, then turned her into.........................a man.
:makeyes:
Life isn't tied with a Bow, But it's still a Gift.
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Postby Snowhite » Thu Jan 04, 2007 11:31 pm

A wife heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left.
She said "Darling, i thought you were going to your lodge meeting"
"It was postponed", he replied."
"The wife of the Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate would'nt let him attend tonight".
Life isn't tied with a Bow, But it's still a Gift.
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Postby Snowhite » Thu Jan 04, 2007 11:37 pm

The best husband a wife can have is "An ARCHAEOLOGIST" cos the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Life isn't tied with a Bow, But it's still a Gift.
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Postby spudseamus » Fri Jan 05, 2007 3:24 am

:bold:
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Postby Snowhite » Fri Jan 05, 2007 9:37 pm

Now Spud,........ :halya5:
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Postby spudseamus » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:15 pm

:D
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Postby Snowhite » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:26 pm

Tell me a joke, Spud. :razz:
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Postby spudseamus » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:29 pm

two nuns ridin' bikes down a cobbled stoned road in Dublin and one turns to the other and says " ooohhh sister ive never come this way before have you ?" nnnnnoooooo! sayds the other one
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Postby Snowhite » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:47 pm

Now that's :bold: ,Spud.........but i liked it. :D
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Postby spudseamus » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:51 pm

Pat and Mick went duck shootin' and as they were comin home Pat says to Mick" look at all these other fellas theyve got lots of ducks! why havent we got any?" i dunno says Mick ' maybe were not trowin' the dog high enough "
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Postby Snowhite » Fri Jan 05, 2007 11:55 pm

Image... :rfl: :rfl: More please.
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Postby spudseamus » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:05 am

i once got barred from a pub -- not allowed back in for a month--- not that it bothered me lol -- plenty of drinkin' holes in Dun Laoghaire :D the joke was kind of a sight joke so bare with me grin it was Easter week end so you can set that in yer mind and the time was early 70s ok. well Jesus was on the cross and all the dark clouds were foaming and tretening to ignite when a folower of the man got a ladder and went up it and pulled out one of the nails in JCs hands and his arm fell like a leaden weight to his side so the man with the ladder went around the other side and pulled out the other nail in his hand and it too fell like a leaden weight just then JCs eyes openen and he looked into the helpers eyes and said "THE FEET !!THE FEET! and it came to pass that i was trown out of the pub by the owner and told i should be ashamed of meself---- but i did hear the coustomers shoutin aproval of the funny side
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Postby Snowhite » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:15 am

:rfl: :rfl: It's the way you tell'em , Spud. :hayla:
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Postby spudseamus » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:24 am

ohh the pub in question was the one on the left hand side as you go down to the Peoples Park right down neer the park i cant remmeber the name
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Postby Snowhite » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:26 am

Walters or the Cozy ?
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Postby spudseamus » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:27 am

hhmmm last one before the park
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Postby spudseamus » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:28 am

coz it was just a walk across the street to get a bus and i remember it well coz i met a young lady there and got talkin and had a knee trembler before i went home ! ahhhh youth is wasted on the young :D
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Postby Snowhite » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:32 am

Walter's if it had the same name back in your day that is all those years ago. :D ....Knee trembler. :rfl: :rfl:
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Postby spudseamus » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:33 am

i bow to ur wisdom snowie
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Postby Snowhite » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:35 am

Ah, get up, your making a show of me. :makeyes: :rfl: :rfl: :rfl:
Life isn't tied with a Bow, But it's still a Gift.
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Postby spudseamus » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:46 am

how do ya tell when a Jewish princess has an orgasam?? she drops her nail file :D
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Postby Snowhite » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:51 am

How do you change a blonde's mind?


Blow in her ear. :D
Life isn't tied with a Bow, But it's still a Gift.
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Postby spudseamus » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:52 am

:rfl: why do ya never let a blond go for lunch---- coz you have to retrain her
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Postby Snowhite » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:56 am

Why can't you tell blonde's Knock Knock jokes ?



Because they go and answer the door.
Life isn't tied with a Bow, But it's still a Gift.
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Postby spudseamus » Sat Jan 06, 2007 1:04 am

how do ya know a red neck--- theyve been married 3 times and there name dont change gollieeeee!
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